Meaning was Enough

She found her meaning. She knew that somewhere inside her was happiness and peace. However, she did not know how to reach the serenity. The constant prayers made her to come to the understanding that most of her unhappiness and anxiety were caused by constant memories of the past and fears of the future and unknown.

She realized the fun and joy she was missing, the beauty all around her, because she was hung up on the past and the future; which she had no account of. She realized that the past and future were illusions, which all she had was NOW and all she would ever have is now. She knew the only thing she could do was to live the present to the fullest and take control of work and life to change it for better. She knew that life was not ALL about pain and suffering; it was about being true to yourself and living each moment fully and to the best of her ability. It was also learning. Learning lessons from the past and others.

This was not easy to know, and sometimes she forgot. But she accepted the low times because it was all she could do. She forgot or became consciously ignorant of the facts of life. Being ignorant, escape responsibility and being unaccountable was easy. Sometimes she worried about the past or remembered what had made her happy before, but she observed this from a distance without letting it define her. A little part of her still worries! Or is it regret? Sometimes she thinks of the future, the place where life would take her and what would finally fulfill her, but she saw this and did not let the future become her meaning. She lived and perhaps the first time in her life, that was enough.