Men and boyfriends

Its a kind of emergency life-saving policy, more than anything else. She got started in life with the pursuit of security and romantic pleasures. She barely had an adolescence before she had her first boyfriend, and she has consistently had a boy or a man (or sometimes both) in her life ever since she was twelve years old. That was - oh, lets see about 15 years ago, now. That almost two decades!! Since then, she has been entwined in some kind of drama with some kind of guy. Each overlapping the next, with never so much as a week's breather in between. And she cant help but think that something of a liability on her path to maturity.

Please dont go away

Jack Johnson widget by 6L & Daxii

Y shud life be practical?

But why must everything always have a practical application? She'd been such a diligent soldier for years-working, producing, never missing deadline, taking care of loved ones, her health and family liabilities, voting...etc..

Is this lifetime supposed to be only about duty? In this dark period of loss, did she need any justification for flying and wandering in India other than that it was the only thing she could imagine bringing her any pleasure right now? And it wasn't that outrageous goal, anyway, to want to travel in India. Its not like saying ' I wanna travel round the globe with 500 bucks'.

Travelling is something you can actually do. So she took tickets in and just left without a word to family. Her friends thought this was frightening, craziness, madness, too impulsive and hilarious.

and yes now when she thinks about it. And believes that it was a madness and craziness that drove her there... alone (a gal in tht matter), without a caretaker or anyone known to her, travelling in buses, trains and rickshaws from north end of the country to the most south.

Yet she still thinks, it's the most wonderful adventure she had had in her life, sharing it with her camera only!

SHUCKS

moods swinging
hoods taking
looks changing
books coming
but the only thing I wanna do is
Eat, pray and love

FUCK

In ancient England , people could not have sex without consent from the King.
When people wanted to have a child, they had to solicit a permission to the monarchy, in turn they would supply a plaque to hang on their door when they had sexual relations.
The plaque read … "Fornication Under Consent of the King" (F.U.C.K).
This is the origin of the word.
Fornication Under Consent of the King (F.U.C.K)

The weirdos

Mind Typhoon

My mind is in a roller coaster.
I dont know...its so fast today.
I cant remember what it was thinking the last second.
Everything is coming at a very fast pace...
All the things I want to do and remember.
And its skipping beats....

Anxiety disorder or Love mania?

She suffered from an anxiety disorder. Or is it love mania? She lived alone in a house filled with people. She was alone, though people surrounded her. For days, she went through life in a tug of war between depression and anxiety, hopelessness and fear, sorrow and boredom. It was the never ending war between her heart and mind.

She often tried to justify why he left and why she did things she did. She often went to the doctors and counselors with symptoms of one disease or another, convinced she was dying of something. She sometimes went to the emergency room, so panicked that she was sure she was having a heart attack. Some days she just lay curled up on her bed, unable to find pleasure in any of the activities she enjoyed. Yet she continued to live.

Sanity Most Compromised

She was blinded by his love. In love she saw everything and nothing. She never saw the storm that started building. The lightening and never felt the wind from before the storm. It was a storm, a typhoon that took everything that belonged to her, even half of her sanity.
The lights emitted from the computer made the whole place dark and more comfortable. He sat on the rocking chair, she sat on his lap. He rocked keeping her on his lap. Singing….

Cat Stevens widget by 6L & AM

Two Brothers

She had two problematic brothers. For as long as she could remember, they had not been normal. Through her middle school, high school, and college years, they had been jailed and sentenced many times. She had fought knives, hangers, metal rods and anything solid away from them when they tried to hit or hurt another family member. She had seen them steal and sell things her mother or others own. She had seeing the unwavering love of her mother towards the two brothers. She had seen them, calling names and slangs at her father. She had seen how her father ignored the violent behavior in frustration. She had seen when they used drugs, stole stuff and brutally injured a person; coming running to hide at home from authorities. When reported they had manipulated everyone by saying that no one loved them and their own sister didn't even protect them. At this point, she broke down in tears.

Gradually, she became afraid of them. She didn't know how to talk to them, what to do or how to act. When they were in the Jail, she did not visit them out of fear. Fear of these people who were not the brother she knew, fear of the Jail and what it meant, fear of what might be wrong with her own brain and self. She felt bad about this, but did not know what to do. She felt helpless, frustrated and scared. Yet she continued to live.